By Swami Chidananda
We often say, “I love this person; he gives me immense happiness. I love this car; it gives me immense happiness.”
The plain truth is – we love ourselves the most. Real happiness comes from within us. When anybody or anything – like a son, a daughter, a spouse, a car etc. – seems to be extremely dear to us, it is so because that person or that object, at this moment, is doing things that are pleasing to the self, the ego in us. The same person (or object), at another time, is no more the object of our love. No happiness comes anymore to ‘the self in us’ from that source. If we enquire the true nature of this self, we will arrive at the Self, the ultimate truth of our existence.
Sage Yājnavalkya reveals this open secret to his wife Maitreyi and makes a strong case for knowing the inner truth of the self, of our own individuality. When the falsity of the separate self is busted, the glorious Self reveals itself. (The word ātmā refers to the individual self in ignorance and to the Supreme Self upon awakening.)
Everything becomes dear to us for the pleasure of the self really. We must come to know the Self (the inner truth of the self).
ātmanas-tu kāmāya sarvam priyam bhavati
ātmā vā are drastavyah|
Brihadāranyaka Upanishad 2.4.5
(Chapter 2, Brāhmana 4, Mantra 5)